this is what love is
by spider fingers
Summary: Gaito has wanted her for so long...so, he finally takes her. WARNING: OC / implications of rape.


"Stop."

Ah, what a word.

What a sound. "Stop." It's funny to delve deeply into that one word – so deeply that your mind is pushed over the edge, and the reality you've learned to believe begins to crumble. Stop is such a funny, funny word. People yell "stop" when they're being hurt, or too this or too that…but in the end, it's just words. It's just a bunch of random letters put together to convey a desire, a thought, a sound – _stop._ But really, if you think about it, the word has no meaning at all. If you're being tormented and you cry "stop!", do you really believe it will stop? Words do nothing.

Yet there she was, that pretty pretty girl, and she was crying at my feet saying "stop" over and over again. It was such a peculiar sight…such a strange image. It was surreal to see her so _close_ to me. After years of simply watching, the real thing was much better than I imagined it to be. Her eyes (I felt like my lungs were on fire when I saw those stormy grey eyes) were actually _looking at me_, and she knew who I was, that I existed. Her tears were like beautiful drops of rain as they fell down her face. Her small hands were so weak as they clawed at my ankles, her body collapsed on the cold water floor.

Ah, I thought, I didn't think it was possible for me to love. Yet here I am, a feeling unknown to me slowly becoming stronger and stronger. It became unbearable for me to sit around feeling this feeling. It hurt to look at her, even if she didn't look back. It took me years to even manage to attempt contact with her – she was like an untouchable angel.

She was glass.

But I didn't realize how much I would love to watch her break.

"Stop," she weeps again. _I can't,_ I want to say. I can't stop. I haven't even touched her yet. I didn't even bring her here. I had somebody else take her. Once they left me alone with her, she suddenly began to cry and beg me to let her go. I didn't understand it, really, but my desire to tear her apart grew with every sob that left her.

"Beautiful," I told her in astonishment. I hadn't moved from where I stood, and she had yet to move from where she lay at my feet. At my words she froze, lifting her tear-stained face to gaze up at me with wide eyes. "Beautiful," I said again, slowly kneeling down so we were eye level.

She didn't like that.

She reeled back and screamed, her throat drying with the attempted noise. She choked mid-shriek and covered her mouth. She began to cry again.

I reached out and took her wrist, tugging her close. Her eyes turn up to me and the tears seem to freeze like icicles on the corners of her eyes, and it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. _She_ is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Ah, I really do think this is love; this desire, this yearning, this desperation. The need to touch her, see her, make her yours. It was a strong, frightening feeling I didn't know existed within me. Yet here it was, bursting out of me. I couldn't stop. I couldn't go back, not anymore.

"Come now," I murmured soothingly as she began to tremble, her sobs becoming dry. "Come on, Hanae, don't cry." I touch her face and she looks sick, but that didn't stop me from kissing her. I didn't know what it was like to kiss somebody you loved, and the feeling I had when our lips touched was so unreal. It was like a storm erupted within me, swirling all around in my head and my stomach. I felt like I was all over the world, under the grass and over the clouds, like my head was filled with soft mist and all I could understand was _her_.

Even though she fought, I kissed her many times. Over and over and over and over, our lips touched and it was frighteningly perfect. I didn't know such bliss existed.

Even though she cried and told me "stop", I kissed her mouth and her chin and her breast. I touched her face and her back and her thigh. I touched and kissed every possible spot on her body, feeling the warmth of her existence upon my own. I finally understood what everyone around me had felt all that time – "LOVE", "DESIRE" – and something else. Something I couldn't quite name.

_Ah_, I thought when I began to kiss her stomach, _maybe it's just like love and desire? Lust._

Maybe, probably, I thought – but I didn't want to think anymore. All I did was feel. I felt her heat, her innocence, her fear, and when I tore inside her and stole everything from her the satisfaction was so great I almost wept with her. I didn't know it would be this strong. This…pleasure, this love, this desire fulfilled.

Even when she began to heave and vomit, even when she bled and wept, I didn't feel regret. I felt a sense of completion, of understanding. I knew now what this was. This love, this lust, this _whatever_. Her presence was enough to make me feel unnaturally human, and these emotions were too much for me to handle. I couldn't contain it.

I took her, I took what she was, and it made me glad. I smiled as she bled and cried and shouted to the heavens to "kill me, oh god please, just kill me". I smiled at her as she began to fade into sleep, exhausted at our insecure romping, the tears still coming heavy as she scratched her own face and chewed her lip into shredded pieces.

I didn't say anything to her. I didn't tell her my name. I didn't tell her that I loved her. All I said, as she drifted into sleep and into our new life together, was "This is what love is."

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A/N:

Woooow. Go me, I wrote yet ANOTHER fucked up story. =-=  
Yeah well, my friend loves this anime/manga and begged me to read it. When I saw how long the manga and anime were, I was like "FUCK NO", 'cause I'm lazy as hell. But I did watch random anime episodes and stuff, and my friends told me about it. So, watching that, I was like "….I kinda like Gaito…" XD  
Why is it I always love the ass holes? It's a curse, I tell ya. A curse.  
Anyway, I saw there was no Gaito love on here so here it is! A random rapefic/romance between Gaito and a random OC.  
So, now you know why it's so OOC and random. I didn't really watch the anime or manga properly….so….yeh….XDDD

PS: "Here, Mandy, this is my Mermaid Melody fanfic I promised you."  
"Yaaaaaay! *reads* …..WH….WHAT IS THIS? OH MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? THIS IS SCARY SHIT, YOU NEED TO SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST YOU HAVE SOME SEVERE MENTAL PROBLEMS. MY GOD…etc…."  
That's pretty much how the conversation went. XD  
Gee, s'not THAT bad, is it? D:


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